Class News
Golf Outing, Spring 2010
Below are Chris Getman's usual thoughtful reflections on the event.
Putzel rule and lead gift result in creation of 1964 Banquet Room at Mory's
A rule implemented for the Class of 1964's eighteenth annual golf
outing on May 7th has resulted in the class providing the funding for
the new and much needed Banquet Room at Mory's. The rule, created by
illustrious class member, Henry "Pete" Putzel III, allowed golfers to
take a free "mulligan" provided they made a $25 gift to the venerable
club.
The day broke uncharacteristically clear and warm, violating the class
charter that the event must be played in the rain. New event chairman
John Evans invoked executive privilege, and insisted that his
disgruntled classmates play anyway.
"This is unfair," griped Dr. Chuck Post, "because it gives guys who know
how to play an unfair advantage. I brought my waders, but forgot my golf
shoes."
Nonetheless eighteen determined golfers braved the unfamiliar elements
to face the daunting challenge of the famed Yale Golf Course.
Tony "Ug" Lee mountain-biked down from Boston with his golf clubs on his
back and still arrived an hour early. He failed to shoot his handicap
for the eighteenth consecutive year and was rewarded the "Perennial
Runner-Up Trophy" at the banquet at Delaney's that evening.
The New Jersey Dons, Crabtree and Edwards, arrived in tandem, but left
Corleone behind. Untrue to form, Crabtree left nothing behind and
returned to New Jersey, wardrobe fully intact.
Dr. Dave Kalayjian tried to prove that he was a stud muffin by walking
the course. He proved to be more of a meadow muffin, shooting a 42 on
the front but wilting to a 49 on the back.
Bill Galvin, recovering from a total knee transplant, showed his grit by
shooting an 82, a remarkable display of "playing through the pain."
The day started on the first tee as those present gathered for the
traditional group photo. Getman's camera's wide-angle lens shuddered and
died when Basler and Wilson tried to cram into the picture. This
performance directly correlated to Getman's performance on the golf
course. We were saved by Post's smart camera, but the picture was
overexposed because Lee neglected to blacken his head.
There was a moment of silence for perennial last-minute dropouts
McFarland and Padley. McFarland claimed a need to be in Tittsburgh for
which he had two unredeemable Pickets (sources said it was really
because his knickers had shrunk) while Padley claimed a need to sort his
socks, an event with much more validity than last year's need to mail a
letter.
We broke into three foursomes and two threesomes and teed off at 12:45,
optimistic about our chances of finishing before sundown at 7:34pm. It
was close, but we made it.
Things flowed smoothly until the ninth hole where not only had the
refreshment stand closed but there was the usual logjam which occurred
for reasons to be discussed later.
Truebner showed his acute knowledge of golf etiquette with a rant when
it was suggested that once those in his foursome had reached the green
they invite those in the next group to hit their tee shots. Brin Ford,
Harvard '64 but a fully accredited member of the group, corroborated
Truebner's interpretation, by throwing his clubs into the pond in
disgust.
Jim Heyworth, on the other hand, displayed complete ignorance of Class
of '64 etiquette by calling a "whiff" on himself. The others in his
group protested that since Heyworth hadn't said "s*%t" the shot should
be deemed a practice swing. Ford wondered that since no one had seen the
"whiff" wasn't it like saying something in the woods when your wife
isn't there to hear you and still being wrong. Heyworth, despite his
ignorance of proper golf etiquette, still finished the day with a snappy
82. Evans and Wilson remarked that as true Whiffs, they also qualified
for the "practice swing" rule, a privilege they exploited extensively.
But the day belonged to Putzel, who, after invoking the "Mory's Rule"
was able to make a lead gift of $150,000 toward the new Banquet Room
which will bear his name. "I did the math," said Pete, "and realized
that if would need only 6000 mulligans in order to make this gift. Hell,
I figured I'd have it done by the fourteenth hole, and was a bit
disappointed that it took me to seventeen to complete the project, Still
it was nice to post a 79. You can't imagine the ecstasy I felt when I
saw my 23rd shot drop into the pond on nine, even though it caused a
significant backup." Putzel was helped by the fact that the course,
which by the way is in magnificent shape, was dry and could accommodate
the pickup truck with the necessary balls in its bed.
"Pete Putzel is an extraordinary Yalie," remarked President Rick Levin
in acknowledging the gift. "The new Mory's is going to be one of the
core threads of the Yale tapestry, and having the Putzel Banquet Room
will greatly enhance the Mory's experience. We're very grateful to Pete
for his insight and generosity, and are going to recommend to the PGA
that it implement the 'Putzel Rule' for its major tournaments. The
benefits to charities worldwide will be extraordinary."
Officials of Mory's are thrilled with the Putzel gift and expressed
confidence in their ability to raise the remaining $250K to complete the
project.
We were joined at the banquet at Delaney's by the lovely Rebecca
Hetherington and Toddie Getman. There, Neil Hoffmann, present by special
dispensation from President Obama excusing him from going to Nashville
after protecting the shores of the Gulf states and a long stint in Rhode
Island, showed up with two sandbagger buddies, Bob and Randy, and
proceeded to shoot the low gross 78. Wilson and Edwards were also given
time off, but had to catch a late flight back to Tennessee that evening.
Lee was given his award and Butch Hetherington received the "Most Gross"
citation.
Given his influence over the weather, John Evans was unanimously put in
charge of the fall event.