With Gratitude

September 11, 2021

1964 classmates and spouses,

It is with profound gratitude that I write this email which delivers the November/December 2021 Class Notes (embedded below and also posted on our Class website). So many of you reached out to express support and sympathy for me over the loss of my wife, Wanda. I was especially touched by the surviving spouses who wrote me, too, for they know how I feel at this time.

I hope you will indulge this more personal column than I usually write. I wanted to include the many messages I received, because I believe they say more about the character and compassion of classmates than they do about me.

If this longer version of Class Notes is more than you wish to read, you can find the truncated version on the Yale Alumni Magazine website or wait for the magazine to be delivered in November. Either way, I hope you’ll stay connected with classmates.

Since the previous issue of Class Notes, we’ve lost two classmates, Dan Kapica and Nick von Baillou. Bill Galvin lost his son, Will. Please keep these classmates and their families in your thoughts.

Lastly, I urge you to save the date of Saturday, October 9 for our first mini-reunion on Zoom with the ambitious theme, “Sixty Years of Change to Yale’s Academic Canon.” You will be receiving a registration email very soon.

Gratefully,

November/December Class Notes

Well, here we are approaching the end of another year. For reasons that I’ve already explained, my diligence for this issue was compromised. That being said, it helped me immensely to get back to chronicling class events and classmate activities. Messages and notes from classmates helped me immensely in my grieving process.

Our first mini reunion to happen on Zoom will take place on Saturday, October 9, led by Chris Getman and Robert Whitby. So, save the date for this program with the ambitious theme, “Sixty Years of Change to Yale’s Academic Canon.” Getman and Whitby wrote: “It has been meticulously organized to explore many of the fundamental changes in the academic curricula at Yale since our time there. An exciting program of speakers including faculty leaders, participants and observers of these many changes will guide us through a broad discussion of the evolution of Yale’s academic canon over the past sixty years, focusing on History of Art and the Humanities and Music at Yale. The primary intent of this Class mini reunion is to be informative. It will be neither an indictment of these changes to the Yale canon, nor an apologia for them. The focus will be to address: What are they teaching our grandchildren? How is it different from what we were taught? What has been the impact of these changes? Presenters will include: Dean of Yale College Marvin Chun; former Yale Art Gallery Director Jock Reynolds; Yale graduate and renowned artist James Prosek; Yale Bands Director Thomas Duffy; classmate and ‘64 Whiffenpoof Roger Thompson; former Yale Dean and President of Duke University Dick Brodhead; classmate and Harvard College Humanities Professor Stephen Greenblatt. As the day proceeds, there will be separate breakout sessions, allowing for classmate exchanges and discussion on the issues presented. The mini reunion will be offered on Zoom and will be free of charge. It will run from 10:00am until 3:00pm on October 9th. Shortly, you will receive an invitation to register from the Yale Alumni Association, along with a more detailed program schedule. Spouses are also welcome to participate.”

In the foreseeable future, we plan to continue using Zoom for Yale ’64 Authors Book Clubs and other topical themes. On January 12, 2022, Timothy Breen will be the featured Book Club author to discuss his highly regarded book, The Will of the People: The Revolutionary Birth of America. John More has agreed to facilitate the Zoom session.

Many of the regional classmate luncheons continued through the summer. The Mory’s group, led by Chris Getman, returned to in-person lunches at Mory’s. The Bay Area group, led by Owen O’Donnell, stayed with the Zoom format, and added discussion themes to their approach, with topics like: Should the government mandate COVID-19 vaccinations? If you were taking a road trip to California, where would you go? How have you learned to overcome the aging process? Gus Speth’s new book came in for advance praise. The Boston group, led by Jerry Flannelly, also stayed with Zoom and discussed topics like: The issue of hearing loss and its ramifications. Blaine Krickl and Nancy Upper introduced the group to the Voynich Manuscript, a book of mysterious origin that has resided in Beinecke Library since 1969. Regrettably, an in-person dinner that was scheduled to take place at Amy and Bob Rands’ home in September was postponed due to the surge in virus cases. Jerry Flannelly also suggested a special session on Alzheimer’s: “Henry McCance, together with a Harvard Medical School professor, put on a great Zoom session on Alzheimer’s and brain health for our HBS 55th Reunion in June. I asked Henry if he might be willing to do a reprise for our Yale class. Believe it would make for a great Class Zoom event.” Jerry Flannelly had spine surgery in July, and we wish him a speedy recovery.

On August 7, Tony Lavely attended a reception for newly admitted Yale students in Atlanta. The event was held at an outdoor park, with over 100 students and parents attending. There was palpable excitement among the students who will be able to be on campus for the full year and have their parents assist them on moving in. The Schwarzman Center opened in September, commencing with a luncheon for Yale undergraduates in Commons. We are exploring this venue for the annual Class Council meeting in February 2022. With the increase in the number of digital events (mostly on Zoom), Weili Cheng helpfully pointed me to the weekly summary of digital events sent via email.

The YAA Assembly and YAF Convocation is scheduled for November 4-6, 2021, via Zoom. As he has at earlier Assemblies, Bill Morse, our Class Delegate, will “attend,” along with Ward Wickwire and Tony Lavely. Nick Danforth emailed Sam Francis and me: “I’ve never thanked you at all, much less adequately, for your great work on the ’64 Webpage — plus your reunion talks. You’re the real glue that helps keep us in touch, virtually and vitally. Bravo! I also hope we'll all be able to have Zoom memorial services ‘together’ in the future. There are now, or will soon be, several classmate memorial services each month, even post-pandemic (if it ever comes) — and most of us should not try to attend each other’s memorials in person as we approach our 80s. If there is anyone who could write up some guidelines for classmates on how to host or participate in Zoom memorials, encouraging us all to learn at least the basics of how to host the Zoom, and how to show a slide show, or how to transfer the slide show from In Memoriam for each classmate’s Zoom, it would be appreciated.”

Our annual Class Council meeting will take place on Saturday, February 19, 2022. It remains to be seen whether it will happen via Zoom (as it did last year) or in-person on campus.

If you’re interested, the DVD and Blu-Ray versions of the documentary video, ”Harvard Beats Yale 29-29,” are on sale directly from the distributor, for only $8.99.

We are behind in posting News articles on our Class website, but you should read the one about Doane Perry that his wife, Karen Carmean sent: “Our biggest news is that after more than a year of Doane’s serious memory loss, it came back! We moved into Kimball Farms in Lenox in early January of 2020, keeping our house in West Stockbridge for the next generation. Then in May this year, he was put on Memantine, which has been in Europe for twenty years and in the States for eight years. We are trying to tell everyone because it gives us hope. And because we have never heard of anyone with memory loss getting better. So please share.” Neil Hoffmann emailed: “What wonderful news. Thanks for sharing.” Tony Lee updated me on his long-running Zoom series, “Can We Stop Climate Change?” “We have a new website which will be online soon. John More helped us get it designed. His designer had previously worked with Bob Musil in the design of the Rachel Carson Center website. Several large climate-change organizations are promoting our Zoom webinar through their network. The world events and our own webinar are coming together at a critical time.”

Tony Lavely was interviewed by a first-year student for a research project, “Mental Health at Yale.” It is a topic of increasing importance on campus, compared to our years. Reporting on the new Class of 2025, The Yale Daily News posted a very informative article: “Class of 2025 sets new marks for achievement and diversity.” Lastly, President Salovey announced that there were over 43,000 donors to the Yale Alumni Fund this year. I was gratified that 100% of my group in Branford College donated.

Jon McBride emailed: “I was stunned to read of Wanda's death and send my deepest condolences. I had no idea you and she were living with such a difficult set of circumstances and admire your courage and candor in bringing it to light. We are fortunate to have you as our Class Secretary (okay, CEO) as was Wanda to have you as her sidekick and partner for lo these many years.” Anne and Edward Massey sent me a comforting note: “We know you have a large and loving family, and we send our thoughts to you. May you take all the time you need but know that we hope to see you again soon.” Mike Mazer emailed: “I've been with Hannah for more than fifty years and admit that I am totally dependent on her emotionally and otherwise. My heartfelt sympathies.” John More had major surgery in July and is recovering: “Now progressing well after surgery on Thursday to repair my ‘arterial dissection’. Maine Medical staff have been fabulous. They were able to repair it without a stent. Livy has been by my side when they let her. So many others have sent their best wishes, prayers, and encouragement. I am so thankful to have survived and to have all of you rooting for me.” Earlier John posted: “I’m stepping back on Cushing Island ME preservation because of heavy involvement in D.C. with affordable housing, environmental justice, and climate change (thanks to Tony Lavely and Tony Lee), and the digital divide.” Michelle Mead (surviving spouse of John Armor) posted a video of Tom Lehrer singing “Bright College Days.” John loved Tom Lehrer, so I think he'd be amused and remember Yale when he heard this song.” Frannie Moyer (Ben Moyer’s surviving spouse) emailed: “I just finished reading your wife's obituary. I loved that you included so many different sides of Wanda's life. Yikes, imagine doing a sky dive and being a marathon runner! I appreciate your efforts on behalf of those of us, like me, who have lost our partner. This COVID world has been very challenging. We had planned finally to have a celebration of Ben's life, here in Brookline, next week, but on the advice of Ben's brother Peter (EMC doctor) we have canceled it. We are still, as a family, going to NH and will finally bury his ashes in the family plot in Franconia and scatter them in his favorite places. That will bring some kind of closure to his passing.”

Bill Morse emailed: “I am very sorry to hear that you have lost your wife, Wanda. You, your children, family and all those around you were blessed by her grace and presence. You referred to Harold Bloom’s Take Arms Against a Sea of Troubles, and Shep Nuland’s How We Die that was most thoughtful, and for me, timely. I immediately read the openings of both books. In a very real sense, I needed to hear from them. My Guidant defibrillator, which had done nothing for 18 years, saved me yesterday, early morning. I had a serious V-tach episode. I had fainted and was on the floor. The jolt lowered my heart from 220 to 70. So, I survived. I’m rattled, uncertain, and, alas, grounded. I was training for a tennis tournament this weekend. The cardiologists must first figure out what’s going on. I’m thinking about life, and receptive to the literary wisdom and inspiration of Harold Bloom as well as the humanity of Shep Nuland. We’ve come to an age where we must face the immensity of life and death, our own as well as of those we love.” Rich Niglio emailed: “I just saw your email about Wanda's death. I was shocked and completely overcome with sadness for you. You have been my very dear and close friend for so many years. I can't imagine how very sad you must be. I cried.” Responding to the story about the 1960 UConn football game, Martin Padley emailed: “I do remember the game and was astonished that our weakest opponent almost beat us in what turned out to be an undefeated season.” Owen O’Donnell emailed: “I want to extend my deepest sympathy to your family. Losing a wonderful friend and the love of your life is a tragedy which is hard to endure. Peter Putzel emailed: “I know how difficult the past several years have been for Wanda and you, but I have marveled at her determination to live her life fully. And I know that during these tough times you have been a source of enormous strength and support for her. I just hope that she was able to fully enjoy Vanessa’s fabulous New York wedding. I know that you will stay in touch during the coming months, and I look forward to seeing you in New York, New Haven, or even in Sharon, Connecticut! Meanwhile, I send you profound love.”

Bob Rands circulated an article about life expectancy: “Of the top six causes of death (excluding Alzheimer’s), five are based on bad behavior. And bad behavior among Americans seems pandemic.” Bob also circulated another article about Alzheimer’s: “The key early warning signs are inattentive driving and problems paying bills.” Al Rossiter emailed: “I was saddened to hear of the death of your wife, Wanda. Your Christmas cards always revealed a large and happy family with lots of smiles; cheerful folks gathering as a tight-knit group and glad to be with each other. If ever there was a time for family to gather around, this is it. You are blessed that, amidst all the pain of losing your partner and best friend, you have the support of family. This is not to mention the support you will get from the Yale Class of 1964, which has been brought together over the years through your care and concern for fellow classmates. Now it is our turn to express our concern for you. I send you a virtual hug.” Dina and Paul Ruden emailed: “I was so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear Wanda. I lost my Mom in July and I know that the grief can be overwhelming at times. Please know that you have friends who are thinking of you, grieving with you, and sending warm thoughts your way. We made a donation in Wanda's name to Camp Timanous. I love the idea that she supported these special experiences for children. I know that summer camp was a life-changing experience for my daughter.” Gerry Shea commented on the UConn story: “I wish I had tried out for football, if just to fail.” Gerry also kindly sent me a list of his favorite music for my healing process: “Claire and I are thinking of you and of your trip to Martha’s Vineyard this week. Attached is a list of my favorite music.” Ed Shaw had to regret for the Mory’s lunch in September: “I had surgery on my foot; four broken bones. I will be in rehab at the Willows on Route 63, just north of the Merritt Parkway, for another 2-4 weeks. Any visitors will be most welcome.” Russell Sunshine had to miss the August Bay Area Zoom: “Very sorry to miss it. Nancy and I will be on the road to the southern Oregon coast.” Stan Thomas’ son Chip (who is my godson) spent three days with me in Atlanta after Wanda died. He knew her very well, so we reminisced about all our times together. We took the time to work on his wedding service on September 30, which I will be officiating.

Jan Truebner emailed: “I was shocked and saddened to learn of Wanda’s passing. I didn’t know she’d been ill. I’ve followed on Facebook your trips out West and the fabulous wedding weekend in NYC last spring and had no idea she wasn’t healthy. You never said anything while sympathizing with so many surviving partners from the class. Now you are one of us. On the bright side, you had fifty wonderful years together. I can tell by following your escapades on Facebook that you made sure those fifty years were filled with fun and love for her. You undoubtedly have many happy memories to help fill the enormous void in your heart and life. You and your lovely family are in my thoughts and prayers as you adjust to a life without your lifelong partner.” David Turner emailed: “You have done an amazing job of gathering and circulating information about our classmates. My group of friends (Anthony Asmuth, Peter Igoe, Philip Lochner, John Hanold, Larry Buck, Frank Oates, Robert Dunn, Robert Norris, and Kent van den Berg) haven’t been contributing much in the way of news to you, but we’re in regular contact with one another after more than sixty years.” Nancy Upper (surviving spouse of Dennis Upper) emailed: “I got the part-time job I dearly wanted! The job is Recording Secretary for the Design Review Committee (DRC) for the Town of Winchester MA. The DRC reviews, advises, and makes recommendations on site improvements, visual design, façade changes, signage, and green spaces within the Town. The job connects me to great people in the architecture, landscape design, and design professions — just what I need to excite work on my Ampersand book.” Later, Nancy emailed: “Since Dennis died in 2018, you have helped restore and fortify my inner strength. Your caring responses are lifelines to many of us. Feel free to reach out when you need a caring response yourself.” Andy Villalon emailed: “I am sorry to hear about your loss. Although we only know one another through the ether (through our correspondence). I look upon you as a friend. Losing a loved one, especially one with whom our history is closely intertwined, is always a terrible and traumatic experience. I wish you all the best. If there is anything I can do, please feel free to call on me.”

John Wylie emailed: “Congratulations on the glorious marriage of your daughter, Vanessa. She is such a lovely person, and I know you and your wife must be thrilled that she is so happy! Perhaps you will remember that you asked my opinion of Yuval Harari’s Sapiens some years ago? Well, your question served to initiate a line of thought that bore the fruit of my essay in the Montreal Review last February, which I sent you; and now I have followed that one up with another, which will be published in week or so (but I could not wait and must give you a sneak preview!). Here is a link to the essay, which will continue to function after it is published. I would appreciate it if you would encourage our classmates to read the essay because it uniquely offers a classically spiritual and liberal interpretation of our current era from within the idiom and scientific logic of the Darwinian scientific worldview. The essay simplifies an understanding of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, language, religion, self-awareness, free will, and the experience of being human for most of the last million years. Later, John added: “Just a note of condolence. You are blessed with such a wonderful family.” Robert Whitby called to tell me he had a nice visit with his roommate Tom Hout and his wife Sonja in September. Tom teaches international economics at the Fletcher School in Boston. Robert reminded me that Tom was captain of the golf team in 1964. Joe Wishcamper regretted for the July Bay Area Zoom: “Guys, I will be in Iceland where 3:00pm PDT will be 10:00pm in Iceland, so I’ll pass. Nick Allis emailed: “Thank you for recommending the Bloom and Nuland books.” Mike Austin emailed: “My condolences to you and your extended family on Wanda's death. From her obit, it sounds as though you had fifty wonderful years together. I must tell you an ongoing childhood story. When my family was living in Sherman Oaks CA, an LA suburb, I joined a private swim team just before I turned eleven. There was a big, loud-mouthed girl on the team named Molly Botkin. She was bigger than I was, stronger than I was, and swam much faster than I could. The ultimate indignity came when I learned that she was born on the same day as me: August 26, 1943 [Wanda’s birthday]. She kicked my ass daily in workouts and swam much better times in meets. We were teammates but not friends. At age fourteen, I finally decided to grow and was just barely able to beat her in some events. Then, just before I turned fifteen, my family moved to Rochester NY, and I lost contact with Molly. She turned up on the USA 1960 Olympic Team and swam in Rome, the hundred-meter free at age seventeen. Four years later, I was on the USA Olympic Team and swam in Tokyo, the hundred-meter free at age twenty-one. Molly and I now meet every four years at ‘old swimmers' reunions at every Olympic tryouts (except 2021) since 2004 and tell each other lies about the ‘old times’.”

Tom Barnard emailed in early July: “My wife Carol is still struggling from knee replacement surgery six months ago and perhaps some other joint issues. She's still very active physically, but one feels our partner's pains. I think we all are still trying to recover from the January 6 attack on the Capitol. Did you see the forty-minute NYT video report on it published about one week ago? Horrible to watch but an important historical document. The Elsa storm wasn't bad here. It just scattered some extra Spanish moss around the yard. How about all the media coverage associating extreme weather events with global warming? Getting harder for the public to ignore it.” Later, Tom emailed: “I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful wife, Wanda. Carol and I send our warmest sympathies. Your communications to our Class are so meaningful and beautifully written. It’s a gift for which we thank you.” Len Baker and Steve Bingham had a lively email exchange about carbon offsets. Len wrote: “I agree that if you’re willing to spend the money, it helps the climate to go solar. However, I’d like to see a system where you could spend that same money in a more effective way. You could do a lot more good by buying carbon credits, though there’s a question about the legitimacy of today’s carbon credits. My own view is that it’s still better to buy carbon credits (even though they are possibly flawed) because it will eventually lead to a legitimate market for carbon credits which I think is perhaps the most important single thing that can happen. Once we have that, any individual can fully offset his carbon footprint, probably at a reasonable cost — remember, a carbon price of $100/ton equals $1 per gallon of gasoline, computing the embedded carbon in gasoline.” Steve replied: “Why not do both: solar panels and buying carbon offsets? Is this NYT article a fair summary of what’s involved? We could start a Yale campaign to get all graduates to pledge to buy carbon offsets every time they fly. I’d certainly do so once I knew the best way to make such a purchase. We normally go to France every year to visit Francoise’s family and our friends there. Aside from our hesitation because of COVID, I also feel guilty flying all that way, given the environmental damage.” Dick Berk emailed: “My wife and I always assumed I would die in my office. But Penn wants to cut costs and offered all faculty over sixty a remarkable severance package. It was sort of an IQ test. Susan and I apparently passed and retired July 1. But we are both busier than ever. I joke that I had to retire to get my work done. I am now an emeritus professor from UCLA and from the University of Pennsylvania.” Later, Dick Berk emailed: “I have no words to express the grief you must be feeling. All I can say is that I am thinking of you and the many wonderful years you and Wanda had together. Hang in there.” Steve Bingham emailed: “I just read your wife’s obituary. What a wonderful person! And obviously a wonderful companion for you all these years. I can’t imagine your pain, so different from our own pain losing daughter Sylvia. My only advice is to take the time you need to fully and richly absorb your loss so that the memories of your years with her remain a centering point in your life. Please don’t worry about any lapses in your remarkable stewardship as Class Secretary.” Frank Basler emailed: “I am so terribly sorry to hear about Wanda's death. I just read the obituary you put up on our website. Certainly, a most lovely lady. I can't imagine how sad I would be if/when Susie dies. Know that I am thinking about you in your grief.”

Chip Brennan sent a thoughtful note: “I was greatly saddened to hear of your loss. While I didn’t know Wanda, your remembrance of her spoke volumes of her special character and the role she played in your life.” Kip Burgweger sent a comforting note: “I am very sorry to learn of Wanda’s passing. I value our friendship over the years and am praying for you at this time.” Another response to the UConn football story came from Marc Blum: “Thanks for bringing back this wonderful memory. The next year, my group was in Jonathan Edwards with Wally Grant ‘63 and got to know what a fine person he is.” Later, Marc added: “I did not know Wanda, but I do appreciate your character and caring.” Separately, Wally Grant emailed me about the UConn story: “Thanks for the birthday greetings. I’m feeling great and staying well. I’m pleased that you survived your pledge father’s influence.” Peter von Braun emailed: “I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. I have some understanding of what you are going though, as I lost my wife at the end of January. I’m not sure I will ever get over it.” Dan Berman emailed: “Lorna and I are so sorry about Wanda; our most sincere condolences to you and your family. We really enjoyed meeting her at our Newton High School 50th reunion. Lorna and Wanda had a lot in common professionally, helping people deal with their family and personal problems. So, they had more interesting things to talk about than the marvelous Yalies they married. Wanda and you were a blessing to each other, so she lives on for you and yours.” Patrick Caviness emailed: “Since friends seem interested in surviving near-death experiences, here is the second near-death experience I had in 1973 on the Rio Grande. Circling on our final approach we can see a dirt strip on a flat butte above the Rio Grande River. The plane, loaded with six men, hits the runway hard. The landing gear collapse and we go ripping out across the desert. Like the coyote in a Roadrunner cartoon, we are suspended momentarily over a deep canyon. Jack Cirie, a marine who spent a lot of time in Vietnam, scrambles over the top of me, and we both hit the ground about the same time. For some reason, the destroyed and gas-soaked plane didn’t blow up and all six of us got out dazed and thrilled we’d made it. We would run the Rio Grande for six days in open canoes but that night around a campfire, we sang Dylan’s ‘Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven’s Door’ over and over again with feeling.” Pat was also the first to tell me about John More’s surgery: “John More, our classmate and my good friend, has suffered a serious heart injury. John and Livy were staying in their summer home in Maine when he fell ill.” Later, Pat Caviness emailed: “We are devastated to hear about Wanda's death. She got to see her last daughter married. She got to have a great time out West with your whole tribe. She got to hear you tell her where you will meet again. She will be waiting and smiling at you as you enter the next phase of your journey. She will be with you. Frederique and I send you our warm loving hugs and offer you our tears and love. I send all my love to you my friend, my lifelong teammate.”

Larry Crutcher emailed: “Hannah and I also have a home in Watch Hill, RI, where we are until November. It came with an invitation to Chris Getman’s New Haven lunch, which I happily attended. We winter in Tucson, but it gets a little warm there in the summer.” Giles Crane, the piper of the Yale Class of 1964, emailed: “I understand a bit of the stress that caregivers must deal with, and take comfort from our two loving daughters and their families. As my beloved English mother-in-law said, ‘Keep on keeping on.’ I address day-to-day stresses by repeating several phrases, some from Psalms or American musicals, somewhat like a mantra to drive out discouragement. There are many in our Class contending with loss, age afflictions, and dementia and Alzheimer’s circumstances. My former roommate, Tom Kleven, seems to have escaped the worst of age. He is teaching at Thurgood Marshall Law School in Houston, Texas, his 46th year there. From time to time I play violin in a baroque trio at a local village church. Music is a tonic for me. Sometimes my loyal spouse Diana comes. I still play the bagpipes, as a family piper, usually for a small gathering of friends. I can now play ‘Lady Loudon.’ Sometimes I reflect upon the women with tears who lined the aisle as I piped for our Class Memorial Service.” Bill Drennen emailed: “Thanks for the lifeline (and death line) you provide for me and the Class of 1964. Your articles are wonderfully encouraging tomes of information which really bring us together to share our lives and good feelings about our lives, our country, and our people. Thank you for being so good at it. My partner in life, Bella (Donna Quinn Robbins, former spouse of Bill Robbins Y63 ) and I flew down to Albuquerque NM recently for visits with Vivian and Sam Deloria and then drove to Santa Fe for time with former roommate Gordon Davis in Santa Fe. This was our first trip since the pandemic began shutting things down, and we learned how to Zoom. And thanks for the upbeat reminder of the Yale-UConn game of our freshman year. What a wonderful introduction to the Ivy League.” Nick Danforth emailed Gerry Shea, replying to his earlier parody of a Harvard Medical School reunion: “You’re right Gerry. Those Whiffs really are off on a spree, afraid to face our ultimate reunion … though damned from here to eternity.”

Steve Delman emailed: “Reading of the loss of your wife Wanda, I am truly saddened for you and your family. The obituary posted in the Class News is one of the most beautiful and well-written ones I have ever read. Fortunately, you appear to have a wonderful family to carry you through this difficult period and the years that lie ahead. We are at an age and living at a time when the loss of family members and friends is something that most, if not all of us have experienced. Apart from the loss of people we love, those of us who survive have lost more than a year (now approaching two years) of time as a result of this pandemic. It’s a time when we expected to be able to enjoy the things that we thought we would be doing in our senior years. Instead, we now spend our days trying to balance our desires to resume the lifestyle we thought we had earned against the fears instilled in us by this terrible virus and now its latest variant. I used to look forward to our Class Notes every month online, but now I peruse them quickly, fearful of seeing who from our class (or those dear to them) has joined the list of those we will no longer see at our next reunion.” Don Edwards sent a touching note: “I was so sorry to hear the news form Chris of Wanda’s death. I send my deep condolences along with the hope that the family you and Wanda worked so hard to build will provide the support you need in the months and years to come.” John Evans emailed: “I have been meaning to write to you and offer my condolences on Wanda's passing. Nice idea to have a brick for her. I liked that a lot. This past weekend Dottie and I were with Mimi and Jon McBride and Selina and Al Rossiter, staying with Charley Sawyer '63 in Pittsfield. All old Whiffenpoofs, we are a quartet that has sung together off and on for fifty years. Sadly, Charley lost his wonderful wife Carolyn a few years ago, and we all miss her. Two events at Tanglewood: Film Night with John Williams and the Boston Pops on Friday evening and then an all-Brahms concert on Sunday afternoon with the BSO. Fabulous. Jon shared his email to you and your response. Painful, for sure, but it inspired a rich discussion of end-of-life issues and outlooks and continuing care facilities. That group has always had meaningful conversations about ‘life and stuff’ as Carolyn called it. I have ordered Sherwin Nuland's book. I certainly enjoyed his first and the discussions at our 45th. On a lighter note, for the Class Notes, Dottie and I have been in Chatham most of the summer and I have been able to play golf with Kirk Kitson (Tony Lee's brother-in-law) and Larry Capodilupo. We had dinner with Larry and Debbie Swenson (Larry's new life companion). I heard of Bill Galvin's loss last month directly from him. When we were back in CT for a few days, I reached out to him but the timing didn't work then. We will have lunch in the fall.”

Sam Francis emailed: “I wish you well in coping with and adjusting to ‘life after Wanda.’ The death of a life partner leaves a gaping hole that can’t really be understood by those who don’t experience it.” Celeste Finn (spouse of Eric Fossel) posted: “Maybe this is just a blip in COVID, but it is amazing to see friends again.” Ed Gaffney posted: “I took a tumble in the garden last evening, mis-stepping backwards out of a raised bed and landed on my right shoulder. Nothing broken or dislocated, so I just have to cut down on cavorting in the garden for a few days.” Frank Franklin emailed: “Cindy and I are sorry to hear of Wanda’s death. While we only met her when we stayed at your home, she was a lovely and gracious woman. We will pray for you and your family. If there’s anything we can do to help with the class-secretary role or whatever, just let us know. Your lovely remembrance of Wanda shows how lucky you were to share fifty years with such a vivacious life partner as a parent and explorer.” Later, Frank reported that he had presented to a local Harvard Health Forum on “Challenges in Public Health in the 21st Century,” now posted on YouTube. “Classmates suffering from insomnia may find rest by viewing it.” Still feeling his own grief, Bill Galvin sent a sympathetic note: “I was very sorry to hear of Wanda’s passing. Words fail to capture the depth of feeling over the loss of a wife or a child you’ve known for over fifty years. As I’m sure you’ve been told, it’s our memories, the family times together, that we’re supposed to focus on as we go forward.” Toddie and Chris Getman sent a thoughtful letter: “Toddie and I send our deepest sympathies to you and your entire family. I hope that I predecease Toddie, so I won’t have to grieve and continue life without her. It was great for Toddie and me to have dinner with you and Wanda when we were in Atlanta. We’re grateful to have known her. Times are going to be rough for you for a while, but you should know that you have an army of friends in the Class of 1964.” Stephen Greenblatt emailed: “I’m terribly, terribly sorry to learn of your immensely painful loss of Wanda. Somehow over the years, through your annual Christmas card and simply by being regularly in touch with you, I felt that I had come to know Wanda and to grasp something of her warmth and adventurousness and beauty. Ramie and I send you our most heartfelt condolences.”

On their wedding anniversary, Marya Holcombe posted: “How many girls get to spend fifty-five years with the man of their dreams? And still get flowers?” Later, Marya and Terry Holcombe sent an emotional note: “You have our deepest sympathy. We will play, ‘I’ll Fly Away’ and pray for you and Wanda. We know we will all be together on the other side.” Candy and Waldo Johnston finished their cross-country RV trip in July: “Chautauqua NY to Cooperstown NY, we drove I-86 winding through western New York’s Allegheny mountains. It’s good to be home. In order to register his pickup truck today in Cooperstown, Waldo has to produce three IDs (driver’s license, Medicare card, and credit card).” Later, Waldo Johnston emailed: “Candy and I are absolutely devastated to hear about Wanda's passing. I had no idea and would have been far more sympathetic and communicative with you had I known about her condition. Please know that Candy and I have you entirely in our prayers and know all too well how much the love and support of friends help overcome terrible moments like this. I'm also devastated to learn of the other deaths among our classmates and their families and will be in touch with them as well. You have been such a special friend to us, and I wish I'd been more helpful to you and supportive in the past. Please know you have our love and support.” Jennifer Julier wrote: “I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your beautiful wife, Wanda. I could always tell from your Christmas card that she was the heart of your family.” Ellen Cole, our Class Notes editor at YAM, emailed: “I just learned that you had lost your lovely wife, Wanda. I almost feel like I knew her from the photographs and Christmas letters that you graciously share with me.” Neil Hoffmann emailed: “Thanks again for the wonderful Class Notes and memory of the extraordinary football game our freshman year. I remember going to the UConn game by myself and talking to a junior who was sitting next to me. I must have been telling him about what a tough time I was having keeping up with my much better prepared classmates, like Sam Francis, in Directed Studies Science.” Later, Neil added: “Somehow, I missed the news of Wanda’s death. You have brought so much comfort to classmates that I hope we can bring a little to you.” Jim Heyworth emailed: “While we may have met, I did not know Wanda, but as a kid from Libertyville, Illinois, I can totally relate to those middle western roots and the Chicago chapter in her life. It was a very nice description of Wanda in the class website. What a wonderful woman! You have Chrissy's and my deepest sympathy. Be well and thank you for your considerable efforts keeping our Class so informed and connected. As we age, I grow increasingly fond of my classmates and all those special memories from '60 to '64.”

Don Haggerty emailed: “I was truly sorry to read your account of pain and bereavement. Believe me, I understand fully what you're experiencing right now. In 2002, I too lost a person who, seven years before, had become a close companion of mine for life. Only six months after we were together and delighting in our mutual daily experience, she was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, for which malignancy, unlike Hodgkin's disease, no cure existed. When I finally lost her, I had to restructure my life once again. What came to me at that time were two principles cited by Mikhail Gorbachev as underlying his approach to the westernization of Russia after the fall of the Iron Curtain, those encapsulated by the words perestroika and glasnost. The first meant recreation and reconstruction, the second, public relations. I therefore decided that I had to set the intent to change my living habits in a way that would offset that bereavement. For example, I never tried to eat a meal without having something else to occupy my attention (a book or a magazine or journal article) because the mind can occupy itself with only one thing at a time; and I also realized that I needed to get into the company of other people, get out of the house, go to art openings and to my painting classes, and the like. The first year was definitely the hardest, but that approach worked for me. So, you can well understand my ability to put myself in your place right now, and I want you to know that you have my deepest condolences.” Ray Haas emailed: “We barely know each other, and that only through Zoom and your wonderful class notes; but something inside me needs to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. So much in Wanda’s obituary reminds me of my own wife, Mandy. Everyone in our class is grateful for all you have done to rekindle Yale memories and encourage new connections.”

Dave Kalayjian emailed: “My heart goes out to you and your family in this time of anguish and loss. Wanda sounds like a wonderful person and soulmate. As I write this, I'm at Marcia's hospital bedside, where she has just completed a workup for a small stroke. Fortunately, no significant residual deficits. On the way home late last night, I was reflecting on the emptiness you must have experienced following the loss of your life's partner. Marcia and I were both raised in Michigan (Detroit area) and return there each summer. She and her siblings kept the family property on Lake Charlevoix — a great place to golf, pick raspberries, and make jam. Of possible interest for the class notes (a first for me this year): Larry Lawrence and his wife Sally visited us briefly. Sally had a distant relative who summered in a cottage in Hessel, MI, about 90-100 years ago. We traveled across the Mackinac Bridge to Hessel in the Upper Peninsula and found the cottage location, with the help of local historians. Wanda's roots in the UP tell me she was a force. It's not an environment for the timid, especially during the winter months. We also reconnected with Susan and Bob Hannah at dinner. Bob and Larry wrestled each other during practice freshman year, and there have been selective reflections regarding who was the better grappler. I thought they might try to settle the question between the salad and the entree, but after 79 years testosterone levels subside, and wisdom prevails (usually). All in all, we had a great ‘mini mini’ reunion.” Steve Klingelhofer emailed: “I'm terribly sorry to hear of your terrible and so painful loss. I took another look at your family portrait in our 50th Reunion book. Wanda (or should I say ‘BiBi’) was evidently, as my wife Diane noted, not only beautiful but also such a warm, loving person. I can only begin to imagine your, and your family's, pain. Please know you are beloved by so many in our class, and particularly the families and friends to whom you have ministered so warmly in their own times of pain and loss. You are in my prayers.”

Rick Kroon emailed: “Mary Jane and I are so sorry about your wife’s passing. We have occasionally communicated about our children, but never about our wives. They are the foundation of our families, and yours surely deserves our homage. If you go ahead with the Mory’s brick, let me know how I can contribute. Best wishes, and our condolences.” Jane and Blaine Krickl sent a thoughtful note from London: “Your shared words encapsulating Wanda’s long and fulfilled life could not be bettered. How wonderful that you enjoyed so much happiness in so many aspects of your marriage.” Many classmates took interest in Harold Bloom’s book, Take Arms Against a Sea of Troubles, so I want to mention this humorous recollection from 1960, when I took English 25 from Bloom: “As we took seats in his classroom on the first day, an older guy, who looked like the janitor dressed slovenly in dirty clothes, shuffled into the classroom and proceeded to clean the blackboard. He then turned to face the class and said, ‘My name is Harold Bloom, and I will be teaching this class’.” Who knew? Douglass Lea, one of many dog lovers in our class, posted a photo: “Buddy and Sparkie taking a break on one of their daily beach patrols, having already ascertained that there are no terrorists approaching the island by sea.” Regrettably, on my August trip to be with my children on Martha’s Vineyard, I missed connecting with Sam Low: “I’m sure you want to spend time with your family, but if you want to go on an island tour, let me know. We’ll visit some art galleries and the Ag Fair at some point this week.” Ann Marie Lynch (Denny Lynch’s surviving spouse) emailed: “You have my deepest sympathy, Tony, on your loss of Wanda. I can only echo the sentiments expressed already by a number of widows of your and Dennis's classmates, i.e., that we wish we had had the pleasure of knowing your dear wife. How blessed so many of us were to have had such long and happy marriages! Sincerely, and with gratitude to you for your support of the Lynch family on the occasion of Dennis's recent death.” Kai Lassen emailed: “I’ve been traveling the past several weeks and just catching up on emails when I saw your sad note about Wanda. Please know that Marion and I are keeping you and Wanda in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.”

In Publications, we have added a new book by Gus Speth, They Knew: The US Federal Government’s Fifty-Year Role in Causing the Climate Crisis. Steve Bingham emailed Gus: “Your incredible intellectual journey to arrive at where you are now is an example that we should never become rigidly fixed to a set of beliefs. Unfortunately, the clinical prognosis for the Earth is so bad that some want to turn away. Classmate Mike Sherwood wrote me: ‘I'm not sure I'll be able to read this. Too utterly sdepressing. We (our generation) have truly screwed the Earth, but it will be our innocent children, grandchildren, and their children who will suffer the most from our folly and short-sightedness.’ What to say to people who say this? I do try to avoid talking about where we’re headed to young people, as I want them to have youthful activist energy to want to help solve the crisis. I’ve been supporting Our Children’s Trust whose ‘public trust’ lawsuits are remarkably moving forward slowly, with huge resistance from the fossil fuel and government folks.” Jethro Lieberman has written a new book, Everything Is Jake; it’s his first book of fiction. We posted an article about it in News, but it came out after the last issue of Notes had closed. Jethro also kindly sent me the autobiographical supplement to our 50th Reunion Class Book (for which Jethro was the editor).

Since the previous issue of Class Notes, we were notified that two of our classmates had died. Dan Kapica died in Olympia WA on July 8. His surviving spouse, Katherine Dudley, sent a lovely obituary which has been posted at In Memoriam. Katherine kindly reached out to me and emailed: “I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, as well. The business immediately following a death helps deal with the shock of it. It’s the quiet moments we miss them the most and where their memories still linger.” So true, Katherine, so true. Nick von Baillou died in an Alabama hospital on July 24 after contracting COVID-19, against which he had been vaccinated. Joe Wishcamper notified us and wrote a beautiful remembrance of Nick which is posted on In Memoriam. Since Rich Donnelly’s obituary was originally posted, we learned that he had been honored by the Friends of Lovers Key and added that fact to his obituary. Ann Marie Lynch informed me that Denny Lynch’s memorial service can be viewed on YouTube. [See Nick Danforth’s earlier proposal.] Ann Marie again expressed her appreciation to the many classmates who have remembered Denny in different ways: “Thanks for your involvement and help along the way. What a guy I was fortunate to marry over a half-century ago!” Dan O’Grady ’65, one of our football teammates (Coach Joe Vancisin encouraged Dan to opt for football over basketball) emailed: “I didn’t realize how great a tennis player Denny was, too!” We also grieve for Bill Galvin on the death of his son, Will, in July. Finally, I express deep appreciation to Rick Kroon for donating a Mory’s Memorial Brick in the name of my departed wife, Wanda.